Well Hello There!

Seriously? Has it really been since April that I posted last? I guess with all the changes in our lives here lately, this has been the last thing on my mind! Cole had Rotator Cuff surgery...Brent started working for Toyota....I guess a few things have hindered blogging!

Our Summer was pretty decent, we actually got to vacation in Florida. We tried Navarre this year and thoroughly enjoyed it. We were only 25 minutes away from Destin, so we could go to the "hot spots". What we liked about Navarre was it was so quiet...no busy traffic, no chain restaurants on the strip...NO CROWDS! We stayed in a lovely condo and basically did nothing but enjoy the sand, sun and surf. The kids had their guests, Jon Parker and Alli Grace, and Brent and I had each other. Not too bad!

Brent has spent the majority of the past few months traveling...He spent 3 weeks in Kentucky and has spent most of the summer in Canada, training with Toyota. He has flown more this summer than I have in my entire life. Nothing to it, he says...well good, cause we are going to fly every chance we can from now on!

School has started and we have 24 little dumplings in our class...Cole has transferred to Itawamba Community College and Anna Lauren is in 6th grade at Guntown Middle School. Time has stopped for no one...I scramble to keep up...my house is a disaster every other day....my cupboards are bare...I am exhausted...I look forward to SEC football...Hotty Toddy...and I am REALLY looking forward to those cool fall evenings! Our Children's group at church keeps growing...praise God! Our additions to the church are going up so quickly...so many answered prayers!

I have realized one important thing...as God allows me to continue on this earth, I am becoming more anxious about time's passage. I have lived longer than my father did...I really think I thought I would not see this time in my life...I have no guarantees, but I just want to make the most of my life! I want to enjoy my children, my jobs, my friends and my family more. I have tried to push those regrets to the side and barrel on! I have realized that I should feel no shame in the life I lead...it is Christ-Centered, my family comes first...I do not have to have all the trappings of life that used to be so appealing to me...I think I am content. I don't care if you like me, want to hang out with me...I don't care if you don't like me for what I don't do...if I make you feel uncomfortable, that's your problem, I am authentic.

I waisted too much of my life wishing I had done this or that...praying and begging for something different, only to realize my transformation at the age of 30 was the something different I was given. If you don't want my advise, don't ask...I will shoot as straight as I can and I might hurt your feelings. God knows mine have been hurt plenty by people who only wanted the best for me. I love everyone...I might not like everyone, though. I don't have to and I don't have to lower my standards to achieve friendships. I did too much of that when I was younger...those days are over.

You also know, I can't write on my blog without venting...here goes...Why do people think that since I am a member of a "Traditional Church" with traditional worship and songs, that I can not possibly be happy where I am? Why does the need to encourage me to try something new have to come up? I make no apologies for the way I worship. I was raised in a Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night Church. It does not "bother" me that I might have to give my time to worship other than Sunday morning. I go because I love the Lord and I love learning and teaching. I want everyone I come in contact to know what I now know. I want them to know God's love and forgiveness are for the taking. I also happen to enjoy attending church. I enjoy the word Sunday School...I like Hymns...

In this day and time, I have come to find that with the exception of a few...Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, Ed Young and the late great Adrian Rodgers...most evangelists we see in the limelight are only out to make you feel good...tell you "It's OK"...and it will be OK and you can feel good, but you must be convicted, you must be ready to turn over a new leaf! It is not an easy journey and I for one, am a backslider extraordinaire! Thank God for forgiveness and grace! I thank God for Reverend Tim Green...I thank God for all of my brothers and sisters in Christ...I am thankful for our red carpet, our pews and our gorgeous stained glass windows...For our pianist and organist...for Sunday dresses and suits and ties. Not everyone can afford to dress up but we all can afford to bring our best ,whatever it may be, to the Lord

If you are uncomfortable with traditional worship then, yes, by all means find a place where you are comfortable, but you must be fed God's Word, you must be fed the truth and you must, on occasion, walk away limping because God's word had stepped on your toes! If it doesn't something is wrong, because we are all not perfect...I am very happy where I am, would not want to be any other place in the world!!!

OK, now I feel some better...I hope you all have a beautiful week, stay cool and above all live your lives to the fullest!

All my love,
Monica

At heart...

I don't really know when it started...maybe when I was little, but I am certain it didn't take hold until my early twenties, when country blue, mauve and lop eared bunny rabbits were in vogue...I have had an affinity for decorating and arts and crafts. As a teen we didn't have a bunch of money, so Mark and I would travel downtown to the Lee County Library and scope out magazines...he would read People, Rolling Stone and Billboard, while I would read Architectural Digest, Southern Living, Traditional Home, Town and Country.... oh and Vogue.

I could also be found pouring over Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt Etiquette books...I have absolutely NO idea where all that came from. I guess the desire to do everything right, or socially right, who knows? I am weird like that. I digress....art, music, decorating, photography...they all have held a fascination for me. I never felt I was smart enough to obtain a degree in decorating or architecture...too much math. But I can certainly plot out a room or sketch a house. I can pick colors and fabrics...I have been told I am really good at it...who knows?

I dabble in painting and I try to make every thing I do have meaning. I don't know why I want to do the "special thing". I guess it's cause I have ALWAYS loved gifts that meant something. Music, figurines, photos...you name it, if it has special meaning I love it. My Papa had very little, so one of my favorite things of his was one of his handkerchiefs...nothing fancy, no monogram, just a Fruit of the Loom, comes in a pack of 4... handkerchief. It reminds me of his mannerly ways, of how he was always impeccably dressed and smelling good...unless he had been working in the yard or with the horses ;). Whenever I see that handkerchief I think of him....his smell is gone, and NO it didn't have any snot on it, but his memory remains. My favorite thing I have of his....

For many years now I have had an obsession with photography. I have tons of pictures...all of them in a box...not even picture albums. I tried the scrap booking thing, but I am too much of a perfectionist, and it drove me nuts to try to make a beautiful AND meaningful page. I am also too lazy to organize them and put them in photo albums. Maybe one day. I have pictures from Papa's house...another treasure! Pictures of people I love and some I have NO idea who they are, but I love them nonetheless...They are also in my Ammaw's overnight case...not in albums...maybe one day....

I have attempted to make portraits of my children...I have read all sorts of help sites and blogs on photography....POURED over photographers websites trying to figure out lighting and posing...you know...photography stuff. I have been successful at times. Until last summer, I just had a simple digital camera, but my sweet husband and children bought me a wonderful camera...Canon Rebel T1i!  And I must say it is fabulous....until I try to get serious about photography....There again I am usually in too big a hurry to take a class or consult my sweet photographer friend, Kandy, who has offered her help... 

But Sunday...I went for it...I took my cousins out to a friends beautifully shaded and manicured lawn and made their pictures. The pictures are by no means top quality, but they are decent...and my subjects, however uncooperative...were beautiful! Despite wanting to swing the whole time or play with the dog...despite not wanting to sit still...the experience was much needed...I will share only a couple of pictures, since Lisa has not seen them since I fixed them up!

PLEASE let me know what you think...I will be doing some more pictures this week of two more of my favorite girls, for my most favorite girl...

Love to all!

Monica

It's Been Awhile....

As of late, I have not had one single thing that has prompted me to blog...I have not been in much of a mood to blog...or to do anything much, really. I never knew how affected I would be by the passing of my father-in-law, Larry. We, for the past 21 years, have had a love-hate relationship...mostly love, mind you...it has just been a bumpy road. For those of you "in the loop", you know of what I speak. For the rest of you, well, let's just say, Larry and I didn't always jeehaw!

Now, I must say for the record...I loved Larry Wayne Morse. For one, he was my husband's father...he was my children's granddaddy...he was terribly funny...he loved us all to pieces! I was not shocked at the hundreds of people who came through the funeral home to pay their respects. He knew just about everyone, and I know the rest...haha...His death, even though we knew it was inevitable, came as a shock to us.

We had met with hospice and were preparing for his passing. We honestly thought we would watch him die under hospice care! We never dreamed he would be taken so quickly. But, God's timing is not ours. Something, as I grow older I find to be so true! Brent was with him when it happened and he considers it a blessing that he was able to tell his daddy over and over that he loved him. God bless, Brent.

Larry was blessed to have many friends, Angie and Jessie, were two in particular that were such a Godsend to Larry and to the entire family. They tended to his needs, they helped him when the family couldn't be there. We could not have done it without them! One night, Jessie, was with Larry and they had the most incredible heart-to-heart. So, with every ounce of strength and bravery, Jessie shared that night with the rest of us...

You had to know Larry really well to know he was filled with demons...they stemmed from his abusive childhood which culminated into an addiction to alcohol. He carried on the abusiveness he learned into his adult life and unfortunately his family experienced it as well. He was a kind of smart-butt...and I am sort of a smart-butt and well,there's part of the reason we didn't jive!

However, when Jessie told of the night she and "Pops" read from John 3...Larry became softer and kinder...he had started to soften up over the last 3 years since his diagnosis of lung cancer. But this testimony from Jessie was truly amazing...What I learned from what she said and what I have learned from the past 21 years are as follows:

• Say I love you and mean it
• Never take your family for granted
• Never abuse your body
• Never abuse others
• Love your babies with all your heart
• Love your mate and respect him
• Don't work your life away
• Money isn't everything
• Alcohol is dangerous
• Ask for forgiveness
• Don't wait til it's almost too late to ask for forgiveness
• Remember God is always in control
• You can not control others
• Your friends are very important
• Your family is the most important
• God loves you no matter what

This list isn't complete...there are so many other things I have learned...but there is not enough time and I don't want to bore you...I just wanted you all to know that even though it seemed his life was spent in vain...chasing the almighty dollar...trying to escape a past that always nipped at his heels...he was still a man who loved his family fiercely and only wanted the best for them! End of story...

I wish I could impart all of the wisdom, but I just can't, But I can rest assured that my father-in-law is running on Heaven's streets of gold, in the presence of God...and he has finally found pure happiness!

We will miss you Larry Wayne!

All my love,

Monica

Seriously....

As I look back on my life, one of the constants has been, God. I do not remember a time when I was without Him. I was "Raised in Church"....I know most Hymns by heart...I know almost all the "Imortant" verses and stories...I have the utmost respect for a sanctuary and Church building. But, in all my life have I really been the mirror image of Christ?

I have taken the two jobs I have for 2 very important reasons...I love children and I want to help children. Plain and simple...my job with the school affords me the opportunity to spend time with children and help mold them into better students...my job with the Church affords me the opportunity to teach children about Christ and His immense love for EVERYONE. Not just the ones that go to Church....EVERYONE. There is a song we sing called "Big House"....

It's a Big, Big House,
With lots and lots of room.
A big, big table,
With lots and lots of food.
A big, big yard
Where we can play football
A big, big house,
It's my Father's House.

Of course the song is referring to Heaven...Heaven our ultimate destination...But, as I become older I watch as people fall farther and farther away from God. We send missionaries to foreign countries to teach them the Gospel, which is a fabulous thing. But, these are people who have never been exposed to the truth...If you are reading this and live in the USA, then more than likely you have seen or heard some of the truth. People are turning away from the faith in droves...they are opting to sit on their couches on Sunday mornings, rather than attending a local church service...why is that?

Half of the children in our class at school don't attend Church and some have never been! We live in the "Bible Belt" where EVERYONE is a Christian...NOT! I see the problem from many different angles and I have heard all of the excuses...

"My clothes aren't nice enough..."
"Sunday is the only day we don't have anything to do..."

But, the most horrible thing I hear is....
"We visited your church and not one person spoke to us..."
Seriously? Let's get something straight...Church is NOT a "Social Club" where one is allowed based upon their status, their bank accounts, their neighborhoods, their vehicles, their education...NONE OF THAT! Church is and should be one of the most welcoming places on earth. Our job as members of a congregation is to welcome ANYONE that walks through our doors...ANYONE! Regardless of how they are dressed, or how their vehicle looks...

It sickens me because I have been guilty of not running up to New Comers and introducing myself, telling them how glad I am that they came and asking them to return...Brother Tim does an EXCELLENT job of delivering a message from God's Word EVERY Sunday. He is such a fabulous teacher...he makes the Bible easy to understand...but, when you don't make someone feel welcome, they are not going to be fed the way they should. Some Christians will be surprised when they walk through the Pearly Gates and see who all is in Heaven...VERY SURPRISED...God doesn't care about the things we care about...He cares about our souls and our hearts...

He cares about the least of these, He cares about the fatherless, the widowed, the poor, the rich, the homeless, the uneducated...EVERYONE! So should we! As members of our Churches, we have a responsiblity to welcome and to love...it goes beyond the size of our contribution! Faith without works is dead...so if you do not feel the desire to live like a Christian, then you might need to reevaluate your faith...Do you have to go on every mission trip? no...Do you have to go to Bible Studies? no....Do you have to go to Sunday School? no....Do you have to come on Sunday night? no.....Do you have to come on Wednesday night? no....

But, those things give you an opportunity to grow in faith...to become a better person...a better Christian...the bonus will be you will become more like Christ and you will not be governed by the World's ideals, but by a more kinder set of ideals...Will it be easy? NOPE....being an example of Christ is probably one of the most difficult things to do...half the time I feel like a hypocrit, because my life does not always mirror Christ...I am a work in progress and I am beyond thankful...He is not finished with me yet!

Oh, and one more thing...You have NEVER done ANYTHING God will not forgive...with a humble heart and sincerity, He will forgive you! With your confession and belief in Jesus, He will save you! God is so much easier than humans are...and I am TERRIBLY sorry if I have made any one of you feel as if you were not welcome...You are and you are also very loved by the Most High God! He even loves you if you aren't an Ole Miss Fan! ;)

Love to all!
Monica

Oh Happy Day!

19 years ago today, at 7:00pm on a very cold and stormy night I became Mrs. Brent Anthony Morse. We had met almost 2 years prior on one of the most random meetings I have ever or will ever have again. It was such a "God Thing"...I knew who he was before we met, he had no clue who I was! All, I could remember thinking was, he was the absolute best looking thing I had ever seen! He had those incredibly blue eyes, which turn turquoise on some days and almost a glass green on others. Blond hair and he was tall...love me a tall man!

The problem with Brent is he is incredibly shy...it almost comes off as "stuck up" at times, but he is genuinely shy! It turned out he was a friend of a friend and he knew where I worked. So, the VERY next evening the two of them just showed up at the jewelry store...the next night Brent walked up by himself...he never would ask me out, he would just stand there and talk to me! About a week passed and it was a Wednesday night and I was closing with Jeanette and Rachel, he came by and spoke, then he left...I turned around and said, "I think that boy wants to go out with me, but he won't ask!" Jeanette pipes up and says, "Girl this is the 90's, YOU ask him out." He then proceeds to walk by one more time and says non chalantly, "Well, I guess I am going to go get something to eat." I said, "If I had any money I would ask to go with you." He said, "If you promise not to eat more than $6, you can." And that folks is how it all started!

We were inseparable...well, as inseparable as you can be in the 90's, we lived 20 or so miles apart...there were no cell phones and we literally saw each other for the occasional lunch together and on the weekends. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him within the first couple of months or so....and I waited....For two people to be as opposite as Brent and I were, we were so suited for one another! Whether or not you believe this, Brent is HILARIOUS! He is terribly dry and says that funniest stuff without even knowing it! I loved being with him, he made me laugh...he also liked me for who I was! I did not have to put on with him! I did not have to pretend I was something I was not...We were comfortable!

When I look back on the proposal, I laugh! Brent said, and I quote..."Here, take it..." Seriously, cause I was freaking out! I couldn't believe he had actually done it! When I arrived home I told Momma not to get mad and she said, like any good mother, she was happy for me if that was what I wanted...I think she is sure today, I made the right decision! That was January....we married a year later...

I dragged myself and that 100lb train down that tiny little aisle all by myself and started a journey that I can not believe has lasted for 19 years! Wow...we proved all the nay-sayers wrong...we did it...and we continue to do it! Nothing or no one has come along that makes me want to leave...we have two beautiful, amazing, intelligent babies...we have a house and a dog....we have the occasional spat....we say things we regret....we act like fools about the DUMBEST thing, just trying to prove we are right!

He still walks in the room and makes my belly flop...he still makes me laugh loudly and inappropriately...he still makes me fighting mad....he still turns heads and I still bristle up like an old wet hen...I would rip my earrings off over him... and win every time!

As we continue with this journey, I find it has become so easy to be with him...don't get me wrong...he ain't easy. But, I have prayed about our marriage, over our marriage and continue to pray, beg and plead with God to just give us one more day. So far, so good...Would I change anything? Nope! It is where and what I am supposed to be...He is the one chosen for me....I thank God everyday for him....I am also VERY thankful I didn't end up with any of the others...I am glad I met them, but they taught me how I should not be treated and I recognized the truth when I met Brent!

I always kid about my "next husband"...Hugh Laurie or Matthew McConaughey or Michael Keaton...ha ha...But Brent knows the truth and he knows I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world! We are a team...he's the hot head and I am the reasoner...he is the financial guru and I am the manager...he is the yard boy and I am the homemaker...we go together like peas and carrots!

So as we near 2 decades of wedded bliss I just want to thank Brent for putting up with me...I ain't easy either, he he...Thank you for our two beautiful children....thank you for all the wonderful friends you have brought into my life...thank you for supporting me and allowing me to be a mother over a career girl, no matter how finacially straining it was...I believe our children are thankful for it as well.

I hold the vows we took as sacred and I am so glad God chose you for me!!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Brent! I love you!

Happy Anniversary, Bud!

All my love,
Monica

Footprints

It's funny how things occur to me during the course of a day! As I was returning the milk to the fridge this morning, I realized something....that must be the millionth time I have made that trek across my kitchen floor...literally! We have lived in this house since 1993....my kitchen has never been remodeled and the refrigerator has not moved from that spot. How many morning have I crossed the floor to retrieve an item to feed breakfasts, lunches and dinners?

How many people can say they have done the same? I can honestly say, this is the longest I have lived in one place in my entire life! We moved a lot when I was growing up...I have memories form each and every home, but none of those places were very permanent. I lived in the house on Elvis Presley for 6 or 7 years! That was a milestone in my life that I consider the house I grew up in!

Cole was a little over a year old when we bought this house....this is the house Brent came home from the hospital to...he lived away from this place for about 2 years total, then the opportunity to purchase it was given to us...Anna Lauren came home from the hospital to this home.

All of Brent's milestones happened on this little hill as did most of Cole's and Anna Lauren's...What a legacy! It was built by my In-Laws, in a better time for them...with love for their family. Brent and I have lovingly fixed it up over the years, replacing the broken things and updating, but the footprint of the house is the same.

We have new windows...if you didn't already know ;)...we have replaced appliances, except the wall oven, which with a little work still works like a charm! Light fixtures and interior doors have been updated. So has the Heating/Air unit. We have completely gutted a bathroom and made it brand new. But the footprint of the home has not change.

The same journeys my mother-in-law made up and down the halls, yelling for the kids to get up, the same journeys from the laundry room to the bedrooms...are the same for me. The atmosphere, though, is much different. While my In-Laws had a marriage that just didn't work...Brent and I have managed to keep our marriage going!

I will find myself making our bed and thinking how we have taken a place that oftentimes caused pain for Brent and have turned into a place of refuge and calm. Now, don't get me wrong, we argue and sometimes raise our voices a little louder than we should, but it's usually because we are stupid and hard headed...

FOR BETTER OR WORSE, PEOPLE!

The same trees Brent climbed...Cole and Anna Lauren have climbed...The same yard Brent learned to play baseball in...Cole learned to play baseball in...The same room Brent grew up in....both of my children have had...the same living room Brent watched TV in, my children watched TV in...Brent and our children have celebrated EVERY Christmas they have EVER had in the same house!

I was given a "gift" several years back from a TV show of all places! A woman said she used to hate laundry, until she started looking at the laundry, not as a chore, but as a gift. The people that wore those clothes were still able to wear those clothes...the clothes represented their lives, the fact that they could play and get them dirty! The fact that they had food on the table and it could get on their clothes. The fact that the blood stains on the knees or the front of the shirt from a bloody nose, means your child is a living creature.

All this to say...sometimes I am so overwhelmed by God's grace...His plans for us were laid out longer than we could ever remember! I may sit around and dream of a new, bigger house with all the bells and whistles (I actually have a lay-out in my mind ;), but it would not hold the unbelievably, almost unmatchable gift that this little house on the hill....not in the best location in the world...holds for me. It aggravates Brent to have to do so much fixing up, but I think, even though he's not as sentimental about "things" as he is people, he still loves this house...and our babies love this house, even though it has had a hard time holding all of their get-togethers at times!

So, thank you little 1969 Ranch with the awkward layout and the blond brick. Thank you for the 2 acres our children have learned so many life's lessons on. Thank you for your warmth and your protection, your funny noises at night, your smallness, which forces us all to be close even when we don't want to be sometimes. I hope the memories made in the years to come will hold even sweeter things...like grandchildren, birthday celebrations, more Christmas Breakfasts and Easter Dinners...graduation celebrations and baptisms...the occasional throw-down that always ends up in tears and forgiveness...life, love and happiness! You may not be the most beautiful house ever built, but you are the most beautiful cocoon that this simple family could ever have asked for!

Love to all,

Monica

2011

What will the New Year bring? Every year I have hopes...hopes of fitting into that skirt I refuse to get rid of from Harold's...the one I bought before I got pregnant with Anna Lauren...Hope of actually feeling like being active...I am sooooo hyper, that when I think of excercise I can't wrap my brain around it! I hardly ever sit...I am most times doing something...why can't all that activity count as excercise? UUGGHH!

I have found , though, that this life I have been slammed right in the middle of is very busy...and that is how I thrive. I have ADD, no doubt, and I get distracted...ooo something shiny...then I forget what it was I was doing before the distraction happened....then I start something else and while in the middle of that, I remember what it was I was doing before-hand...then I go back to that and leave what it was I was just doing...undone.

Undone...how I feel most of the time...I am most certain that if someone did a brain wave study on me, it would be off the chain...I am a fairly intelligent human being, however, my scatteredness make me seem like an idiot at times! Honestly, it makes me FEEL like an idiot at times...but, that is what makes me...me.

I find myself in a conversation with someone, then they say something and that triggers me to say something TOTALLY unrelated to what it is THEY were talking about! Put me with someone like me and you have complete confusion and chaos!

 

All of this to say, do you feel scattered...out of control...weary? Do you gravitate toward self-deprication? After all if you admit to your faults, doesn't that make you more human...more likeable? God's Word tells us we are "fearfully and wonderfully made"...we are MADE the way we are...sure, outside influences mold our behaviors, change our opinions and totally mess up our self-esteem...But, we are made, (wonderfully, I might add) we have a purpose, just like everything else that is "made".

What we do with the "outside influences"... what we do with the trials and bad times is what shows others where our hope lies. My scattered ways are probably how I am able to cope with the things that happen to me that aren't so great...changing my focus on something else!

 Hope...

Brent is a wonderful person...he is one of the best friends a person could have...he is a helpful mate...he is a loving husband and father, and my children and I do not doubt how he feels about us. However, my hope does not lie in Brent. If it did, I would be greatly disappointed because he is man. I pray no one puts their hope in me, because I will disappoint.

I put my hope in Christ...will I always get what I hope for? Nope! But regardless of what the outcome is for me, it is the best for me. Will it always feel good? Nope! Will it always make me happy? Nope... and I am ok with that, because I am not immune to failure, disappointment, pain, grief or sorrow. I was never, ever promised an easy trip or any of the blessings I have been showered with in my life. I just put my trust and hope in Christ and leave the rest to Him.

I have a laundry list of disappointment and even a little tragedy...I could live my life mired in all the bad stuff and carry it around like an ugly old purse. Curse all the bad, have a little hatred in my heart, be all grumpy and tired. But, that is not how I want to live my life and I am certain it is not how God wants me to live my life.

So pick yourself up, dust off the dirt from 2010...IT IS IN THE PAST PEOPLE....and ask Him to show you the way to forgiveness and even forgetfulness, so that 2011 will not be burdened with trash, but will be shiny and new and you can be a testimony of hope!

I hope you have enjoyed the scattered, hopeful message...really I do!

All my love!
Monica