2011

What will the New Year bring? Every year I have hopes...hopes of fitting into that skirt I refuse to get rid of from Harold's...the one I bought before I got pregnant with Anna Lauren...Hope of actually feeling like being active...I am sooooo hyper, that when I think of excercise I can't wrap my brain around it! I hardly ever sit...I am most times doing something...why can't all that activity count as excercise? UUGGHH!

I have found , though, that this life I have been slammed right in the middle of is very busy...and that is how I thrive. I have ADD, no doubt, and I get distracted...ooo something shiny...then I forget what it was I was doing before the distraction happened....then I start something else and while in the middle of that, I remember what it was I was doing before-hand...then I go back to that and leave what it was I was just doing...undone.

Undone...how I feel most of the time...I am most certain that if someone did a brain wave study on me, it would be off the chain...I am a fairly intelligent human being, however, my scatteredness make me seem like an idiot at times! Honestly, it makes me FEEL like an idiot at times...but, that is what makes me...me.

I find myself in a conversation with someone, then they say something and that triggers me to say something TOTALLY unrelated to what it is THEY were talking about! Put me with someone like me and you have complete confusion and chaos!

 

All of this to say, do you feel scattered...out of control...weary? Do you gravitate toward self-deprication? After all if you admit to your faults, doesn't that make you more human...more likeable? God's Word tells us we are "fearfully and wonderfully made"...we are MADE the way we are...sure, outside influences mold our behaviors, change our opinions and totally mess up our self-esteem...But, we are made, (wonderfully, I might add) we have a purpose, just like everything else that is "made".

What we do with the "outside influences"... what we do with the trials and bad times is what shows others where our hope lies. My scattered ways are probably how I am able to cope with the things that happen to me that aren't so great...changing my focus on something else!

 Hope...

Brent is a wonderful person...he is one of the best friends a person could have...he is a helpful mate...he is a loving husband and father, and my children and I do not doubt how he feels about us. However, my hope does not lie in Brent. If it did, I would be greatly disappointed because he is man. I pray no one puts their hope in me, because I will disappoint.

I put my hope in Christ...will I always get what I hope for? Nope! But regardless of what the outcome is for me, it is the best for me. Will it always feel good? Nope! Will it always make me happy? Nope... and I am ok with that, because I am not immune to failure, disappointment, pain, grief or sorrow. I was never, ever promised an easy trip or any of the blessings I have been showered with in my life. I just put my trust and hope in Christ and leave the rest to Him.

I have a laundry list of disappointment and even a little tragedy...I could live my life mired in all the bad stuff and carry it around like an ugly old purse. Curse all the bad, have a little hatred in my heart, be all grumpy and tired. But, that is not how I want to live my life and I am certain it is not how God wants me to live my life.

So pick yourself up, dust off the dirt from 2010...IT IS IN THE PAST PEOPLE....and ask Him to show you the way to forgiveness and even forgetfulness, so that 2011 will not be burdened with trash, but will be shiny and new and you can be a testimony of hope!

I hope you have enjoyed the scattered, hopeful message...really I do!

All my love!
Monica