I have kept a prayer journal for a couple of years now. It all started with a devotional I did by Beth Moore, Whispers of Hope . Very intensive study. I was forced to examine my life of devotion to Christ and my devotion to prayer. I decided after I looked back on my prayers that it would be a good idea to journal them from now on in addition to my devotions each morning. That way I could look back and see how God had worked over time in certain situations. I am now doing her devotional, Portraits of Devotion .
He has revealed Himself to me over and over. Always has. He is such a reassuring presence. Almost every day since June 8th He has given me a daily devotion about healing. How Jesus healed the sick, the broken, the lost. I am not naïve enough to believe that healing always results in life... Sometimes it is death. And I am acutely aware of my mortality these days, trust me. But there is always reassurance that He is in control.
Today's devotion... Hit. Me. Hard. Day 119:
"Until He has us out of our element-
- and into His - We will never see His Glory. We will always be deaf to what He was trying to say."
My response....
"I hear You. I am being taken out of my element. I am now entering a phase where I will be completely out of control. Honestly, I have never been in control, but my world and my mortality have not swirled around me like this before. I am completely at your mercy. You hold the keys and I can't make one single decision to affect the outcome. "
The Type A control freak I am is having to let go. I trust God with every aspect of my life. I have to lay it down EVERY DAY... I have to snap out of it... Every. Single. Day. I have to remind myself over and over it will be okay. I have to push it so far into the recesses of my mind to where it doesn't exist... For a moment or two.
After my devotion I then lift up prayers for others. So many sick and hurting. Lost and broken. I forget my problems and just focus on them and their healing. Oh how He loves for us to pray for one another. And I love to pray for others because so often, that is literally all I have to give. I then ask for my selfish desires. I asked that grace and peace and love abound. I asked for favor and wisdom, discernment, self-control, grace, peace and understanding. May my gut feeling be Your Holy Spirit..
Then when I am finished I grab my Bible and just ask the Word to speak.... I close my eyes and I open it up. Many times it leaves me flat, for some reason I land in the Old Testament and I am reading scripture on warring factions.
But this morning.
Oh this morning.
Philippians 1: 6, 9-11
"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.
And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and discernment that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you maybe sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. "
Did you see that?!? Holy wow! Every day since I have been diagnosed with cancer, I have been given so many reassurances from God. Through people's comments, their prayers on my behalf and my time spent with God. I am a Jesus Girl and if you know me you know that. I feel wretched when I am not in His will or when I have pushed Him to the side that day.
All. He. Wants. Is for you and me to draw closer to HIM. He doesn't want us to jump through hoops. He just want us. He wants us to talk to Him. To rely on Him. To spend just a modicum of our day with Him. That's not much really, and I can promise there are many others who spend way more on Him than I could even imagine.
But when I truly humble myself to Him and let Him have the reigns, He really does do great things. He doesn't answer all my prayers like I would like for Him to... But He answers the ones that need to be answered. His timing is perfect and as time progresses, I am very aware He has my best interests at heart.
Let Him have control y'all. He will do unbelievable things.
Monica
"Until He has us out of our element-
- and into His - We will never see His Glory. We will always be deaf to what He was trying to say."
My response....
"I hear You. I am being taken out of my element. I am now entering a phase where I will be completely out of control. Honestly, I have never been in control, but my world and my mortality have not swirled around me like this before. I am completely at your mercy. You hold the keys and I can't make one single decision to affect the outcome. "
The Type A control freak I am is having to let go. I trust God with every aspect of my life. I have to lay it down EVERY DAY... I have to snap out of it... Every. Single. Day. I have to remind myself over and over it will be okay. I have to push it so far into the recesses of my mind to where it doesn't exist... For a moment or two.
After my devotion I then lift up prayers for others. So many sick and hurting. Lost and broken. I forget my problems and just focus on them and their healing. Oh how He loves for us to pray for one another. And I love to pray for others because so often, that is literally all I have to give. I then ask for my selfish desires. I asked that grace and peace and love abound. I asked for favor and wisdom, discernment, self-control, grace, peace and understanding. May my gut feeling be Your Holy Spirit..
Then when I am finished I grab my Bible and just ask the Word to speak.... I close my eyes and I open it up. Many times it leaves me flat, for some reason I land in the Old Testament and I am reading scripture on warring factions.
But this morning.
Oh this morning.
Philippians 1: 6, 9-11
"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.
And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and discernment that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you maybe sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. "
Did you see that?!? Holy wow! Every day since I have been diagnosed with cancer, I have been given so many reassurances from God. Through people's comments, their prayers on my behalf and my time spent with God. I am a Jesus Girl and if you know me you know that. I feel wretched when I am not in His will or when I have pushed Him to the side that day.
All. He. Wants. Is for you and me to draw closer to HIM. He doesn't want us to jump through hoops. He just want us. He wants us to talk to Him. To rely on Him. To spend just a modicum of our day with Him. That's not much really, and I can promise there are many others who spend way more on Him than I could even imagine.
But when I truly humble myself to Him and let Him have the reigns, He really does do great things. He doesn't answer all my prayers like I would like for Him to... But He answers the ones that need to be answered. His timing is perfect and as time progresses, I am very aware He has my best interests at heart.
Let Him have control y'all. He will do unbelievable things.
Monica
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