It is the eve of treatment #3. I sit with my girl on the couch watching Aladdin. I parooze Facebook and Pinterest. I wonder how on earth I am here in this moment. How has my life has taken such a dramatic and life altering turn? I mean seriously.... How? Why? What did I do to deserve this? What am I supposed to learn from this?
I wrestle with hope and fear. It is natural I think... I have great hope in healing, but there is always a small nagging voice that says, "Why should you receive healing when others haven't? What makes you so special?"
That nagging voice isn't the voice of my Heavenly Father.... It is the voice of lies and mendacity.
As I was heading to lunch with a precious longtime friend today I was given the gift of a song. Casting Crowns, "The Voice of Truth".
"The Voice of Truth tells me a different story,
The Voice of Truth says "Do not be afraid"
The Voice of Truth says "This is for My Glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth."
All the questions I could ever ask during this journey are answered in God's Word. He holds every key. He holds every tear. He cares about us. He made us in His likeness.... We are precious. So even when I lose a little hope, He wipes my tears and holds me in His hand and tells me to keep on listening to Him. Keep on reading His Word. Keep on praying. Keep on believing in miracles and hope and peace and love.
Because even if it isn't okay... It will still be okay!
Beth Moore, through her devotional, Portraits of Devotion , told me today...
"He answers me, so that I don't have to live off my own answers."
So, every verse He gives me about healing, every phone call, text or message telling me I am thought of or being prayed for, are precious answers.
John 15:14, "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you and that your joy may be full."
Monica
I wrestle with hope and fear. It is natural I think... I have great hope in healing, but there is always a small nagging voice that says, "Why should you receive healing when others haven't? What makes you so special?"
That nagging voice isn't the voice of my Heavenly Father.... It is the voice of lies and mendacity.
As I was heading to lunch with a precious longtime friend today I was given the gift of a song. Casting Crowns, "The Voice of Truth".
"The Voice of Truth tells me a different story,
The Voice of Truth says "Do not be afraid"
The Voice of Truth says "This is for My Glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth."
All the questions I could ever ask during this journey are answered in God's Word. He holds every key. He holds every tear. He cares about us. He made us in His likeness.... We are precious. So even when I lose a little hope, He wipes my tears and holds me in His hand and tells me to keep on listening to Him. Keep on reading His Word. Keep on praying. Keep on believing in miracles and hope and peace and love.
Because even if it isn't okay... It will still be okay!
Beth Moore, through her devotional, Portraits of Devotion , told me today...
"He answers me, so that I don't have to live off my own answers."
So, every verse He gives me about healing, every phone call, text or message telling me I am thought of or being prayed for, are precious answers.
John 15:14, "These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you and that your joy may be full."
Monica
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